


A Boy Named Cas

by writing1swat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, High School, M/M, Sam's POV, Short Story, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1709990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing1swat/pseuds/writing1swat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a boy that moves in next door to the Winchesters. Sam can’t help but find him fascinating. His name is Jimmy Novak and he’s seventeen years old like Dean. He likes rock music and drawing and he wants to be a writer when he grows up. The more Sam learns about him, the more he falls in love with him. The only problem…Sam is pretty sure Cas is in love with his big brother, Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Boy Named Cas

**Author's Note:**

> This is a shortened, loosely inspired idea of an idea for an original story I never got around to writing.

The Novaks move in next door in mid-June. Sam is sitting on the front porch, a half melted Popsicle in hand. The afternoon sun is glaring down at him and Sam can feel sweat trickling down from his hairline to the side of his nose and dripping down his chin. He feels sticky and gross and badly wants to go back inside to watch a marathon of Tom and Jerry but he knows Dean is on the couch with the remote in his hand right now. They had a fight on whose turn it was and Mom refereed. Dean argued Sam had been hogging the TV for nearly four hours already, which was true, and Mom told Sam to go outside and play for a little while, ‘til Dad came back at least.

Grudgingly Sam had gone without much fuss.

Sam sees the truck in the distance. It’s white. Sam stands up and squints to read the orange letters U-H-A-U-L. It’s a moving truck. It doesn’t surprise Sam much when the truck slows down as it turns with the curve, until it comes to a rolling stop in front of the house that is next door. It excites Sam and has him rushing inside to tell his family the good news.

The house next door has had the ‘Sold’ sign for what seemed like forever. Ever since Danny and his family moved out some years ago, it felt a little empty. Sam doesn’t have many friends still in the neighborhood. Mostly it’s just Dean and his friends that come by occasionally and that kind of sucks for Sam because whenever Dean is with his friends it’s like he changes to a completely different person and Sam is left forgotten.

Dean has and always will be Sam’s big brother. He also used to be Sam’s best friend, but that was back when Dean was smaller and younger and he didn’t like to meet other people.

The chatter at dinner is loud, because Sam is excited and thrilled at the prospect of a new family moving in. He really hopes they have a kid around Sam’s age.

The Novaks don’t. They only have one son. His name is Jimmy Novak and he’s seventeen. He has black hair and blue eyes and pale skin. He’s also really nice. He shakes hands with everyone, even Sam. When he smiles at a joke Dean cracks, Sam feels his heart flutter.

Sam likes it when Jimmy smiles.

The next few days, Jimmy comes by the house and hangs out with both Dean and Sam. Sam learns that Jimmy loves rock music and he has a sketchbook he likes to take out to draw birds and plants and houses and people and anything else he sees. Sam likes Jimmy’s drawings. Dean thinks they’re good too.

“You’re way better than my little bro, I’ll give ya that,” Dean says.

Sam says, “Hey!”

But he isn’t all that angry. He’s too busy flipping through the pages, feeling awed and amazed. Dean and Jimmy both laugh and ruffle his hair.

Jimmy doesn’t want to be an artist when he grows up. He says drawing is just a hobby. He wants to be a writer. Sam thinks it probably doesn’t matter what he wants to be. He is probably good at everything. Like drawing. Jimmy is also good at basketball.

On Sunday, Dad takes Dean, Jimmy and Sam out to his gym because there’s a basketball court there and when he asks if Jimmy ever played, Jimmy shrugs and says, “Sometimes.” It turns out he’s a natural at it. He dribbles past Dean and weaves around Sam and gets past even Dad to dunk the ball in.

Dad and Dean are both baffled at first. But Jimmy just turns with a smile and a faint blush and he rubs the back of his neck and Sam wonders what else he can do.

Jimmy can cook. It’s somewhat limited to rice and fish and burgers but it’s a lot more than what Dean can come up with so Sam takes it where he can get it. On Wednesday a month since meeting Jimmy, Mom and Dad decides they trust him enough alone with Dean and Sam and the rest of the house. Jimmy fries up fish and teaches Dean to make rice. Sam watches, smiling.

Jimmy secretly hates his name. He thinks it’s dull and he doesn’t want to be just another Jimmy in the world. Sam thinks it’s a cool name. It’s way better than Sammy or Samuel at least. But Jimmy tells Dean and Sam to call him Castiel.

“Castiel is the name of the Angel of Thursday. Did you know that?” Jimmy says.

“Castiel is also a mouthful to say,” Dean says. “How about ‘Cas’ then? Short and sweet. I like it. It kinda fits you.”

Sam snorts. “Cas is a stupid name. If he wants to be called Castiel, we should just call him that then.”

“No it’s okay, Sam. I actually kind of like Cas,” Jimmy admits.

Jimmy officially becomes Cas.

Sam misses Jimmy.

Jimmy has always made Sam feel included, even though he’s sure the only reason Jimmy pays them a visit is to hang out with Dean. But before, it was subtler. He didn’t ignore Sam or excuse himself early from the table while Sam is still eating. Cas does though. And the feeling of being left in the cold while Dean and Cas listen to music behind closed doors, laugh at some inside joke Sam doesn’t get, it’s an awful feeling and Sam sometimes finds himself wishing Cas never moved in next to them.

It’s a selfish thought but sometimes Sam is selfish.

School comes around quickly. Sam recognizes some of his classmates he had before. There’s Emily and Ashton, Connor and Rod, Jo and Kelly. The list goes on. Sam tries to forget about the summer but it’s hard because Cas goes to Dean’s school and they take the bus together. Cas is almost always around when Sam gets home.

Sam tries to lose himself in homework and study groups and projects. He invites some of his friends over and tries his hardest to ignore the bright laughter that seems to fill the entire house.

In late October, the day before Halloween, Cas stops by again with a Godzilla movie. When Sam asks why he picked that movie out, Cas tells Sam it’s because Dean likes Godzilla. That’s the first time Sam wants to slam the door in Cas’ face. It’s an irrational urge, he doesn’t understand the sudden anger rushing through him.

All he can think is how it’s unfair. It’s unfair that Sam saw Jimmy first but ultimately, in the end, Dean is the one that Jimmy really wants to be friends with. It’s always Dean. It’s Dean because of his cropped blond hair that all the girls say make him look like a young rock star. It’s Dean because of his charming smile that Sam honestly doesn’t think it’s all that charming to begin with (if anything, when Dean grins, it’s all toothy and goofy and makes him look like a kid). It’s Dean, always Dean. Sam is overshadowed by his brother. He’s the imaginary friend that follows Dean around, the kid that can’t do anything without his brother there holding his hand.

Sam is tired of being overlooked. He sighs and lets Cas in. Cas smiles and steps inside.

Later that night all three of them lounge on the couch to watch Godzilla. Dean is in the middle with the popcorn. Sam pretends not to notice when Cas not too subtly reaches inside the bowl and catches Dean’s hand. Dean blushes and moves his hand away, as if scalded. On screen, Godzilla is climbing up a building.

Sam dreams that it was Sam’s hand that Cas touched.

Sam doesn’t understand why he feels this way. It’s stupid how easily he can get angry whenever Cas is around, following Dean like a lost, clingy puppy. Dean is oblivious to the way Cas sometimes looks at him. It makes Sam have to stomp to his room and shut his door before he can do anything he’ll later regret. He wants Cas to stop showing up.

Mom and Dad laugh when he tells them. They both ask him why, because as far as they can see Jimmy is a great kid and a great influence to both he and Dean. Besides Dad is good friends with Jimmy’s Dad. Apparently they have more in common than golfing and Mom is going to take Ellen Novak shopping at the mall next week.

“Jimmy’s a good kid, Sam. If you’ll just give him a try, you’ll see it too,” Mom says.

The thing is, Jimmy is a good kid. But Cas isn’t.

The week before Christmas break starts, Dean and Cas come out for the first time. Sam wanders downstairs with an iPod in hand, listening to some offbeat music. He bobs his head in tempo and almost misses it when Dean clears his throat. Sam stops and looks to his brother who beckons him over with a motion of his hand. Sam turns off the iPod and slips it into his pocket before making it the rest of the way down and into the kitchen.

Cas is sitting on the counter, his legs dangling over the edge. He smiles at Sam when he sees him and Sam feels his heart flutter.

“What’s up, guys?” Sam asks going for nonchalant.

Dean shrugs and says, “Nothing. We just got something to tell you. Well Mom and Dad too but you first since you’re here already. Don’t tell Mom and Dad what I’m about to tell you though, okay?”

Sam’s heart is hammering in his chest at the implication of his brother’s words. Dean has a secret. No…Dean _and_ Cas have a secret and they’re about to let Sam in on it if Sam promises this to them, this one little thing. Sam nods.

Dean lets out a relieved sigh and grins. It’s brilliant and bright and reaches his eyes and Sam is left breathless because he hasn’t seen Dean this…happy in what seems like forever. He reaches over and takes Cas’ hand and holds it. Cas smiles and blushes and Sam knows. He knows without words what Dean and Cas’ secret is. He doesn’t say ‘Congrats’ like he thinks he should say. Instead, he runs out of the room and up the stairs to his bedroom. He closes the door and flings himself to his bed.

Sam doesn’t cry but he aches. There are feelings that he still can’t quite grasp yet because he’s only thirteen and things like this feels like it should only happen in movies. It’s overwhelming. 

Some parts of Sam knew, has always known, but wanted to deny it. It’s easy to see it if you know where to look, if you know what to look for. The way Dean laughs only around Cas, open and carefree. The way Cas smiles at Dean like he’s the only person in the world that gets it, understands Cas. The accidental skin contact, the secretive shared looks, the inside jokes, everything.

Cas knows that Dean doesn’t have a favorite color, that he likes burgers and fries and pizza more than he does any other food besides pie because nothing can beat pie, that he excels in math and science and if he puts his mind to it he can write a damn good essay that impresses the teachers enough to keep pushing him to do his work, that he likes to fix cars and he thinks that the Impala is the most precious thing in the world and despite all of Sam’s complaints, Dean still dearly loves his brother.

Likewise Dean knows a lot about Cas. Cas likes cars, just not as much as Dean. At twelve years old he’s read almost half the books at the library in his old town (somewhere in Maryland). Cas used to have a nanny who was an old friend of his Dad’s that would take care of him. He said her love for learning must have rubbed off on him (Sam doesn’t believe that because with the way Cas seems to get enraptured in every book he reads, he’s sure that Cas’ love for learning has always been his own). Cas doesn’t look it but he used to play baseball in grade school and soccer in middle.

Sam just hopes that his crush on Cas will go away eventually.

By mid-January, it still doesn’t go away. Sam has to watch Dean and Cas hold hands while they study together or play footsie with each other under the table, laugh and share hugs, exchange awkward and cheery pick-up lines and jokes. It really sucks sometimes that Mom and Dad approved whole heartedly.

By February, Sam is losing hope that his crush would just fade.

It sucks harder and harder as the months go by. By Dean’s graduation, Sam is feeling a mix of eager and dread, because it means that not only will Dean move out, so will Cas. Dean wants to move to California. He says it’s his dream to travel.

“Like a never ending road trip,” he jokes at the dinner table one night.

Everyone except Sam laughs.

It might be a coincidence that Cas also applied for Stanford there but Sam doesn’t believe in coincidences. He’s sure Cas did it for Dean.

Dean packs up and makes arrangements and plans with Cas most of summer. It sucks and Sam is largely conflicted with being happy for his brother and not wanting Cas to leave, at least not before he confesses the truth, because Dean and Cas both deserve to know what Sam has been hiding from them for a year now. The day Dean gets ready to leave, Sam lingers, unsure, on the steps.

He sees his brother, bright and golden and happy. Dean turns and smiles and motions for Sam to come down and give him a hug.

“Hey, you’ll call me, right? Let me know what’s up and all that crap,” Dean says into Sam’s shoulder. “We’re not gonna let the long distance make us into strangers.”

“No, we won’t,” Sam agrees.

Dean pulls back and grins and pats Sam’s head like he’s five. Sam scowls and swats his hand away because he’s not five anymore and Dean just laughs. Sam doesn’t tell him.

He sees Cas waving at them just outside.

“Guess that’s my cue. I’ll see you later, squirt. Remember, don’t be a stranger. Tell Mom and Dad that too.”

Sam nods and says, “I will.”

Dean leaves.

It’s a sucky, boring rest of summer. He imagines his brother in the Impala, driving off into the sunset with Cas. They’ll visit all kinds of places together and they’ll get to California and go to college and try to make it out in the real world. Together. Sam wonders what house they’ll buy, will it have white picket fence? Will it be big? Small? Will it have steps to the door? A porch? Swing set in the back? Tall, imposing oak trees in the front?

Sam wonders how long it will take to forget Cas –Jimmy’s– face, his easy smile and bright laughter that once filled the house. Sam thinks it will take a long time. Maybe when he’s old and still alone, he’ll sit in a similar house like this, on the front porch and Jimmy will be the first face he’ll see when he closes his eyes.

When Sam enters high school for the first time, he meets a girl named Jessica Moore. His heart flutters and he smiles.


End file.
